England and Scotland for Dad's 70th


Day 7 - Wednesday - England

    Last official day in London!
    And again, it's sunny and bright.
    Today we decide to make a running bolt for St. Paul's, Madame Toussaud's wax museum, and the R.A.F. museum out in Colindale (or Colinwood, but I think I'm mixing that up with Dark Shadows), which requires a 40 minute train ride out of town, but they're open until 6.
    I wake up before anyone and sneak into the bathroom for a quick bath and shampoo, followed by shower nozzle rinse and dry with groovy black towels Francesca laid out for me (she knows me so well).  Francesca's got a dreaded dentist appointment, so she gets to sleep in a little and spend some time with us over breakfast.  We chat about local politics, one thing or another.  What's the deal with a footballer and a Spice Girl? I ask her.  Victoria, she replies, they're engaged, but I don't know sports.  Then Francesca leaves and reappears with a box of mints for me she brought me from one of her meetings, marked with an insignia and the name "City of London Club."  She said she thought I might like that.  Tonight, she has to attend some sort of reception she's too tired to think about.
    Dad and I go to Christopher Wren's greatest achievement, St. Paul's (featured in the Mary Poppins' song, "Feed the Birds," you know).  I attempt some useless pictures of Dad in front of the cathedral (it's too big and the best I can do is some columns behind Dad), and snap a couple of pics for some American tourists.  Then I see the ultimate cool sign "The Crypt Cafe" announcing where one may procure coffee once inside the cathedral, so Dad took a picture of me with that.  We go in and look around -- I love this cathedral more than Westminster.  It's quiet and calmer, totally churchy, no royal banners or seats, no rude church tour guides snobbily pushing you around.  We visit the memorial for American Soldiers during the Second World War, then down to the crypt (!!!) to see the little chapel and grave of Wren and huge tomb of Horatio Nelson.  Dad comments on how bright and cheery it is (sincerely - it's all basically white marble and well lit).  The gift shop is our final stop before going outside for more pictures (some better ones with Dad and the cathedral dome behind him, and one of him with the John Wesley statue, since we're Methodist), and we bolt for the train station.
    Off to Madame Toussaud's!
    When we arrive at Baker Street station, Dad points at the wall tiles with Sherlock Holmes' silhouette.  I tell him that those and a plaque on the bank where 221-B Baker Street rests is the only acknowledgment of Sherlock Holmes here (I searched it out during my first visit to London, since Dad's a big Sherlock Holmes fan).  Then we step out of the station and Dad says "Look!" and we practically run into the deerstalker-lidded man himself, handing out cards for the new Sherlock Holmes Museum.  So I take a picture of them shaking hands with Dad (!), and it's off to Madame Toussaud's!
    Where there are approximately 100 million French school children storming the place.  We cash in the last of our travelers checks and beg advice from the Thomas Cooke lady on the entry to Madame Toussaud's.  She recommends going into the lineless Planetarium for a combo ticket, watching the air-conditioned 30 minute show and then walking right into Madame Toussaud's.  Brilliant and done! 
    We buy our tickets (one adult and one concessions, I say, since that's what they've been calling Dad's retired ticket all along -- the salesman says, "What do you mean concessions?  Retired?"), and watch the show.  A nice star and space show, except they're playing Dances With Wolves music (going for a new frontier theme?) and while we're watching all kinds of space travel to other planets, I'm picturing Kevin Costner and Indians out in the western plains.
    Into Madame Toussaud's, where I snap a picture of Dad being interviewed by Oprah, and Dad gets a picture of me with the circa-'63 Beatles, and we view all the other wax figures from Tom Thumb to the Royal Family (Princess Diana off to her own corner).  We also go through the icky Chamber of Horrors (I never enjoyed that -- too icky for me!), the escape carnival ride, and the gift shop, which I was going to by-pass (we're on a schedule!), but then I saw the Chamber of Horrors strawberry preserves and I had to hold the jar before reluctantly leaving it.
    We wander back to Baker Street to check out the Sherlock Holmes museum.  I take a picture of Dad by the real plaque of 221-B Baker Street and we by-pass the museum a few doors down (both agreeing that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character -- what could they possibly have in the museum that was real?).  We had lunch at a pub where a very nice bartender took care of us (ham and cheese open face sandwiches and water -- "Would you like ice and lemon in that water?" Yes!  Thank you!).
    Onto the nightmare of dealing with train-changing to get to Colindale.  It's a 40-minute trip once we get on the right Northern line train (there are three different destinations), and it's all ready 3 o'clock.   Now we've just got to get to the Northern line station.
    "Abandon hope all ye who enter here" belonged more on the sign leading into the Baker Street station than on Madame Toussaud's Chamber of Horrors.  First, the gate won't accept our all-day tickets (which involves standing in a couple of lines looking for direction before we're let in -- their gates are down).  Then I make the fatal mistake of choosing the Metro line to take us to the Northern line station, my eyes blocking from view the Circle line which I know well and is completely dependable, and we get on a Metro line train.  But it's going in the wrong direction, according to a rider, and we get off and get on another train where a rider tells us it, too, is wrong.  So we're given directions to yet another platform, get on the train and realize, as it's pulling away, it's the same train we just got off of (we couldn't see because of some wall and steps and got turned around).  So we ride f-o-r-e-v-e-r to the next station and get on the train heading back to Baker Street station.  We assume we're safe in the train, and wait out the "10 minutes before departing" announcement (I'm concerned about the time, wondering if we should get a Circle train instead, we decide to wait it out, we're here, it's fine).  10 minutes later the train leaves, heading back to the station we just left!  (It terminated at Baker Street!).  Another f-o-r-e-v-e-r ride and return, and I announce we're getting off this stupid platform and catching a Circle line!  At last we catch the Northern line (4 p.m.!) -- which offers no problem whatsoever in getting the right train -- and we arrive in Colindale.  Yea!!!
    We walk several blocks from the train station to the museum, which is a couple of big hangars filled with 75 different planes (Dad kept saying "Wow!  They've got a lot of 'em!").  We sought out the Sopwith Camel (Snoopy the WWI flying ace's plane, y'know), the Mosquito and Dad's special target, the Spitfire (he's never seen one in person).  So I took some pictures of him with the Spitfire, we walked through some more exhibits, and it was time to leave, this time catching a bus to the train station (our all-day travel ticket covering the cost of the bus -- best transportation system in the world!).
    On the way back, we decided to stop at Euston station and check it out, since it's where our Edinburgh train would be leaving in the morning and we wanted to know how far we would have to carry luggage from Underground train to BritRail train.  No sooner do we step off our train than a big announcement comes through the speakers asking "All customers please leave the station immediately."  So we have to evacuate (a bomb threat, I'm fearing, but it's just a little fire in one of the cars -- our train system is cursed today!), but we're sent out in the direction of the BritRail station, so we get our answer and walk down the block to another train station, passing fire trucks (all the English sirens have acquired the eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE American sound and lost the cool E-e-E-e-E-e European siren sound -- I'm bummed).
    We have cereal for dinner and a delightful Penguin cookie for dessert.  Dad reads his joke from his Penguin cookie wrapper "What's black and white, black and white, black and white?  A penguin rolling downhill," and I laugh and laugh.
    Francesca walks in exhausted from her reception (tonight's at The House of Commons, tomorrow night's at The House of Lords -- which she describes as 70-year old men hitting on her all night).  She steams some broccoli, throws in pasta and sour cream, tops it with fresh tomatoes and Parmesan cheese and sits down minutes later to an amazing meal.
    Dad and I pack for Stratford and Scotland (what to leave in London, what to take), Francesca sits and eats, and we all chat.  Then a huge really cool lightening and rain storm comes crashing in through the windows, and I'm really impressed.  Francesca tells me I'm very very bad, and we trade stories on getting stuck in houses without power.
    Bed.


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England and Scotland for Dad's 70th

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