England and Scotland for fun


Day 9 - Sunday, May 1 - Scotland

    May Day in the Highlands, baby!

    Sunday morning - May Day - rain.  And LOTS of it.  Of course, it's Scotland, so we could see sun in seconds, followed by a monsoon, and then sun.

    This will be a shorter day in the highlands, as we'll be heading back to Edinburgh in time to have dinner with Chris -- and I still had no idea what plans Rhona had up her sleeve.  I'd just been coming along on this whole trip and been happy all along. 

    Breakfast was earlier, as everyone was better rested than the morning before, and Rod and Rhona each took showers while trading kitchen breakfast duties for what turned out to be a really nice (and rather large) breakfast.  Rod made his customary porridge (this time properly stirred with a spurgle) and set out tea, apple juice and toast, and as we were finishing that, Rhona set out plates of scrambled eggs and black pudding -- my first black pudding!  I've seen a variety of things called pudding in the UK (none of which come close to anything Bill Cosby pitches), and this one was new as well.  It was a round slice (like when you slice canned hash, but this was clearly freshly packed in something else to make it round), a dark sort of finely ground meat (mostly seasoned liver) that Rhona had cooked in a fry pan and was very tasty.  Rhona assured me that this was a really good black pudding from the really good butcher of the day before, and don't assume eating it elsewhere would be a good experience, because it might not be.  Rod heartily agreed.

    After breakfast, I jumped in the shower (no washing our face in the dew this day, as it looks like the dew will be raining on us instead) while Rod and Rhona sorted out what would be going back to Edinburgh with them (although we'd be coming back to the cottage before leaving for home), and Rod made sandwiches for lunch.  Rhona was getting nervous listening to Rod go on about things he wouldn't need until later, or he'd need it in town, while she knew things that he didn't know about their return visit for his birthday in two weeks.  Two weeks before a surprise party were all ready getting to her.

    Then, off to explore the highlands, day 2!

    Our first stop was some place called The Landmark Heritage, or something like that, a place I saw in my UK penny smasher listings for having a penny smasher.  Rod had rolled his eyes, but Rhona was supportive as always, and I was thinking it was probably some highland historic display.  We pulled up into a parking lot more full of SUVs than I'd seen anywhere in the UK, with lots of children being pushed in strollers or prams or holding hands and walking or running.  And signs about play areas and amusement areas and I realized I'd just drug Rod to a family amusement place.  Rhona happily led the way to "coffee," and on our way, the first building we had to walk through (with huge counters lining the room and hostesses and loads of tourist pamphlets of the surrounding area) had the fabled penny smasher right next to the door as we entered.  Yea!!!  Except THIS one wanted TWO 20 pence coins instead of the 50p coin or pound coin I'd been stocking up on.  Aigh!!!!  Of course, I only had one 20p coin.  Rod dug one up from his pocket, then told me we'd get it on the way back, as Rhona was moving toward coffee.

    So they got in line for their coffee, and I roamed the gift store in search of water color prints of the area (hadn't seen anything very interesting so far), and saw that their Cairn o' Mohr was cheaper than the bottle I bought.  I went back and sat with them, telling them about the better buy for Cairn o' Mohr, and Rod was almost distraught, apologizing for me spending more than I needed to at the other place they had taken me, despite me assuring him it's not THAT big a difference and I was happy to have it.  More roaming around the giftshop (where Rod brought me some sort of hiker's book or something he'd picked up and opened to a page that had on the "Got any grapes?" joke of Dad's that I'd told them last night after dinner --

    A duck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says enthusiastically, "GOT ANY GRAPESsss?"  The bartender says, "No, I don't have any grapes."  So the duck shook his head, ah well, and walked out of the bar.  The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender enthusiastically, "GOT ANY GRAPESsss?"  The bartender says, "No, I don't have any grapes. I told you yesterday!"  So the duck shakes his head, ah well, and walked out of the bar. The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender enthusiastically, "GOT ANY GRAPESsss?"  The bartender says, "Look, I told you I don't have any grapes! And the next time you come in asking for them, I'm going to nail your feet to the bar! Get outta here!"  So the duck shook his head, ah well, and walked out of the bar.  The next day the duck walked into the bar and asked the bartender, "Got any nails?"  The bartender, all confused, said, "Uh, no, no I don't have any nails..."  Then the duck asked enthusiastically, "GOT ANY GRAPESsss?"

     -- except in the book, it's "A man walks into a bar..."  I told Rod that I preferred the duck version, and he and Rhona agreed.

    Onto Brodie Castle!

    After we stopped by the penny smashing machine, of course.  Rhona also picked up some brochures to have at their cottage when friends stayed there and were looking for something to do.

    So we drive through more beautiful woodsy scenery and by pastures with long-haired long-horned highland cattle and ewes and baby lambs and - a new one on me - gorgeous pheasants walking by the side of the road - and arrive at Brodie Castle, where we break out lunch.  We sat at one of the picnic tables near their parking area and munched on smoked salmon sandwiches and crisps (original plain - nothing like the "lamb and mint sauce flavored" ones I had on the train up - the UK potato chips are insane) and, of course, the Ribena blackcurrant juice.  It began raining as we were eating, but it wasn't enough to interrupt us, so we finished up, and headed toward the castle.

    Rod and Rhona's close friends are named Brodie, and they're forever teasing each other -- Brodie being such a popular name that it appears a lot in Scotland -- so Rhona was getting a kick out of finally visiting Brodie Castle and teasing them about visiting their castle the next time she saw them.  The daffodil walk had ended - a path to the castle that was lined with daffodils, maybe leading to a larger area of them - as they had peaked, but there were still a lot of daffodils around.  (Reminding me of a lovely yard of one of the cottages we'd driven by a few times during the weekend - the front yard was just grass, except for daffodils lining both sides of an imaginary walkway leading from the road to the front door, and then the front of the house.)

    The previous man of the castle, who'd died fairly recently, lived there and even hosted a number of tours that came through, as he was very enthusiastic about the place.  The current successor, however, "owns a bookshop and lives in France," the tour lady told us, almost hissing it with disgust.  (Rhona also picked up on the tone and we laughed about it later - "Didn't it sound like she was less than pleased with the current heir?")  However, she also pointed out at that the castle actually belongs to the Scottish Trust Fund (probably because the family couldn't afford the upkeep anymore), so there.

    Regardless, it was quiet beautiful -- the dining room alone had hugely ornate plaster ceiling that looked like heavy planks of carved wood (the sort of thing that Rod and I agreed would make you nervous whilst sitting under it to have dinner).  Other rooms were cheerier with that Wedgwood china look -- light colors, brighter patterned cloth wrapped around the furniture.  The guide in the drawing room said they'd recently had a wedding there -- just move the furniture around, and the guests could basically relax there as if they lived there.  Another room, of course, had walls packed with paintings - one being a Van Dyke, among many other well known artists.  (There were also a couple of paintings by Edwin Landseer of the Gallery exhibit I'd been to in Edinburgh as well.)

    Enough castle, we hit the road for our last highland fling -- visiting the Broomhill train station where Monarch of the Glen films its train station scenes.  Rod, naturally, teased and guffawed at mine and Rhona's "touristy" enthusiasm, which didn't keep me from dragging him to the platform and impatiently (it was beginning to rain more) shoving my disposable camera in his hand to take a picture of me and Rhona waiting on a train.  He guffawed again at the sight of the "Glenbogle" sign plastered above a shed at the end of the platform (Glenbogle being the fictional estate of Monarch), which, for all I know, they used during their years of filming scenes there.  The station itself was one of those cute little station stops, with just a platform and a small building for the stationmaster and ticket holders.  When we stepped back through, Rod pointed out the Monarch trinkets they had for sale (post cards of "the big house" that we didn't have time to see, etc), and said I HAD to get a Glenbogle platform ticket for 50p.  I thought again that he was teasing me -- although I defiantly got the postcard -- and he insisted that, no, seriously, I needed to get that. So the nice stationmaster behind the counter who'd just pleasantly sold me the postcards offered to show me one so I could decide, and it looked like a small movie admission ticket.  They explained that you used to have to have a platform ticket before you could stand out on a platform and wait for someone.  It did, indeed, have Glenbogle printed on it, so I said of course I'd take one, and as I was putting it away, the stationmaster said "Do you want me to stamp the date on it for you?  Make it official?"  Well, oh, yeah! 

    So we got back in the car, Rhona just starting up the engine, and she said, "You want a photo in FRONT of it, don't you?"  And I quickly admitted yes (she must have noticed me looking somewhat longingly at something so conveniently right in front of me that I was about to drive away from), so Rod and I jumped out again (with Rod again guffawing), and another picture before we pulled away -- leaving behind what looked like a huge tour bus I'm thrilled we beat.  On the way back, Rhona explained that the station wasn't in use during the beginning of the show's run, and the train people had restored it and got it back on the line since then -- Rod thought the bus was probably going to meet people coming off the train.  Minutes later, he pointed out the steam engine in the distance (there were other trains, but that one had recently begun running), which may have be bringing tourists.

    Back to Edinburgh!

    We went back to cottage and loaded up the car (after tea, of course), and the lambs were making their little lamb baying or mewing sounds -- so heartbreaking.  (Rod said they were telling me goodbye.)  Then we headed out for two hours of scenery and Chinese takeout.

    When we got to the house, Chris was there, smiling and asking if we were going to have pizza for dinner?  Chinese, I told him (having happily dodged Rod's vote for Indian food), and he kept smiling but said he had Chinese food the night before.  I said, well, we could have pizza, and Rhona voiced dissent to that plan -- "If you were in China, you'd have Chinese food every night!" she told him.  I added to the pot by saying, "If a beautiful American woman bought you Chinese food, you'd be fine with that, right?"  And Rhona pointed out that it was Marilyn's treat, and Chris was all, oh, he'd be happy to eat anything we're having, don't worry about him.

    So Rod and I walked down the street and around the corner to another corner where the Chinese takeout (literally, no tables) was.  I ordered the dinner for four (sweet and sour pork, crispy beef, lemon chicken, lots of other basic dishes), plus another order of spring rolls (thank heavens Rod was there to interpret the Chinese woman's English for me, or we would have had LOTS of spring rolls), and we sat and waited.  It wasn't long before the burly Scottish owner-type stepped up and started talking to me (could have SO used Rod's translating skills, if I could have frozen the guy so he wouldn't know how lost I was - and Rod told me later that it was an Edinburgh accent, which was the thickest Scot accent I'd heard yet).  Then a guy waiting at the counter for his food joined into the conversation, listing all the places he'd been in America as well (the first guy was in Honolulu, the second guy had been everywhere and stayed in Decatur, Georgia during the Olympics while working for his company).  The second guy was also railing against the politicians and their high taxes (17.5% sales tax - quite a hit, I thought, until Rhona told me that that paid for their college education and medicine, AND they didn't have a federal income tax, either).  In the middle of all that, two little Scottish girls came in with just enough change for "Prawn crackers, please," and they left with a large bag of something Rod had said their family likes and we'd probably get included in our meal.

    Fortunately, our food was ready soon (I was exhausted trying to make it through both men's accents and slang and act like I knew what they were talking about, although Rod commended me for keeping up with quite a lot of it), and Rod and I carried the bags (including a bag of prawn crackers) back to the house. 

    Dinner was swell, as we packed away the food (using authentic chopsticks Rhona had brought back from somewhere - Rod put the kibosh on me asking for them at the takeout place), and chatted about everything from the upcoming election (it wasn't just a Labour with Blair versus the conservative Tories, there were also the Liberal Democrats and the Scottish National Party to consider) to penny smashers.  (Rod asked Chris if he knew about them, which he didn't, and when we described them, he said, "What, you mean for tourists?" which sent Rod into much anticipated laughter.) 

    After dinner, we became zombies in the sitting room that had the TV with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, working in an occasional bit of conversation.  Rhona pulled out the wedding album so I could point out the photo that was my favorite, and I realized that it wasn't one with the bride (the "new Else family") as I'd said, but one of the original family (because it was a full shot, so you could see everyone in their full attire, the boys in their kilts, Rod in tartan slacks, and Rhona in her practically Ascot attire).

    Tomorrow, last day in town, and Rhona taking me out to the kiltmakers'.




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