crimestopperlinks

                                                                                    by Marilyn Estes, mistress o' Ravenwood

                                        Once upon a daylight dreary,
                                        While I pondered broke and weary,
                                        Over so few possibilities of
                                        Halloween lore -
                                        While I nodded, nearly napping,
                                        suddenly there came a yapping,
                                        As of someone gently yapping, yapping
                                        on my television store -
                                        "It's some infomercial," I muttered,
                                        "Yapping on the TV store -
                                       Only this and nothing more."

                                        Ah, distinctly I relay my thoughts from just
                                        the other day;
                                        And each separate piece of construction per of pa wrought
                                        its ghost upon the floor.
                                        Eagerly I had wished Halloween, - vainly I
                                        had tried to glean
                                        From my brain decoration ideas really keen -
                                        keen for the holiday poor -
                                        For the rare and radiant maiden whom
                                        the angels deemed poor -
                                           Penniless here for evermore.

                                        Then into the TV turning, all my
                                          soul within me burning,
                                        Soon I heard again a yapping somewhat
                                          louder than before.
                                        In there stood Martha Stewart,
                                        enthusiastic and alert;
                                        But, with mien of Ernie or Bert, hopping
                                        in my TV store -
                                        Hopping around a decorated table all inside
                                        my TV store -
                                           Hopping, demonstrating, and talking more.

                                        Then this WASPy bird beguiling my sad
                                        fancy into smiling,
                                        By the graves and decorations of the
                                        season she wore,
                                        "Though thy crust be golden and pert,
                                        thou," I said, "how can you assert,
                                        These charmed treats can only hurt,
                                        made on whose savings is cut to the core -
                                        Tell me not of kitchen accessories that
                                        mock my income I abhor!"
                                          Quoth Martha Stewart "I have more!"

                                        Much I marvelled with whisk trimmed and sugar
                                        cooked and over-brimmed,
                                        She weaved spider webs around caramel - caramel
                                        apples galore;
                                        For we cannot help agreeing that no
                                        culinary being
                                        Ever yet was blessed with seeing handmade ghostlights
                                        above her chamber door -
                                        Jack o' lanterns with tissue paper sculptured
                                        over her chamber door,
                                          With such calling "I have more!"

                                        This I sat engaged in guessing, but no
                                        syllable expressing
                                        To the pumpkin spice cookie dough
                                        she beat and tore;
                                        "Wretch!" I cried, "thy God hath lent thee
                                        -by these angels he hath sent thee
                                        Respite - respite and Addams Family on
                                        this TV store;
                                        Let me watch this kind show and
                                        forget that I am poor!"
                                          Quoth Martha Stewart "I have more!"

                                        "Be that phrase our sign of parting, yuppie
                                        wench!" I shrieked, upstarting -
                                        "Get thee back into the printed form of
                                        your Living store!
                                        Leave no recipe as a token of your
                                        wealth of time most spoken!
                                        Leave my Halloween spirit unbroken! - quit
                                        the channel from my TV store!
                                        Take thy whisk from out my heart, and
                                        take thy form from off my store!"
                                          Quoth Martha Stewart "I have more!"

                                        And Martha Stewart, more creating, still
                                        berating, STILL berating
                                        In her kitchen just within
                                        my television store;
                                        And her eyes have all the seeming of a
                                        demon that is dreaming,
                                        And the lamp-light o'er her streaming
                                        throws her X-acto cut shadows on the floor;
                                        And all the channels from cabled shadows that
                                        bounce from the television store
                                          Remind me still -- she has more!

                                                                                        -- Halloween, 1997 (I think)

Halloween

The holiday scene

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