dilemma3

OSCAR FOOD '04
The Year of Lord of the Rings

I know what you're thinking.

WHO CARES??? It's freakin' February, for cryin' out loud -- the Oscars aren't for another month. I've got LOADS of time to figure out what to do for my Oscar Food Table (along with the added advantage that a Lord of the Rings movie
is nominated Best Picture for a record THIRD year -- that menu is SO covered). All I have to do is sit back and listen to Charlize Theron give her bazillionth acceptance speech for the next month. Sighhhh...

WELL, START PANICKING!!! For you have received your The-Oscars-are-THIS-SUNDAY-NIGHT-and-you've-
barely-got-72-hours-to-get-your-act-together Marilyn's FUN FUN FUN FUN 2004 Oscar Party Food Planner! Woo-hoo!

Now, as the rules generally go, Best Picture nominees get first dibs on the table, so let's get those out of the way. (And since Pirates of the Caribbean didn't get nominated, don't think I'm stopping with BP nominees.)

SPEED is the essence here, since the tone of Hollywood is this year's baby is RUSHED -- which also gives little time for studios to spend their usual extra month of campaigning money -- so CHEAP is going to work, too!

We'll start with the likely winner (Godfather parts 1 and 2 both won Best Picture, so a 3-time BP nominee should definitely come home a winner),

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Drive thru. That's right -- Return of the Burger King! With a side of onion RINGs (precioussssss onion ringsss). And a Whopper for Gollum. And, for the Orlando Bloom crowd that multi-quadtripled this year, swing by the grocery store for Keebler Elfwiches.

Master & Commander - The Far Side of the World
Captain D's Seafood
(For the INSANE, you can check out the Patrick O'Brian cookbook, "Lobscouse and Spotted Dog: Which It's a Gastronomic Companion to the Aubrey/Maturin Novels Patrick O'Brian" by Anne Chotzinoff Grossman, Lisa Grossman Thomas, Patrick
O'Brian, featuring recipes for "Drown'd Baby" and "Little Balls of Tripe a Man Might Eat For Ever.")

Mystic River
Boston Market, Convenience store food
(Sean Penn manages a convenience store where the people buy groceries for the neighborhood -- can you get simpler than convenience store food? Reed's giving me the tips on this one, because, it being a Tim Robbins movie, I haven't seen it. There is a wake with lots of cold cuts no one can eat, which seems to continue the convenience store food theme. And, if you didn't want to be too depressed at the table, he also suggests some Mystic Pizza.)

Seabiscuit
Sonic drive-thru.

Lost in Translation
ANY drive-thru.

and honorable mention to...

Pirates of the Caribbean
Long John Silvers Seafood Shop (and, of course, ARRRRRRby's)
Crimestopper Nevanne suggests Outback Steakhouse for a -- get ready -- "Orlando Bloomin' Onion"! (Also for their surf-and-turf, which also works for Seabiscuit - "sea" and "turf," although he wasn't a turf horse, but still, who's going to turn down steak and lobster?) And Pirate's Booty for haaardy snackin'!

Okay, now that's out of the way -- "FINALLY!" as Captain Jack Sparrow would say -- let's talk the NEW tasty theme of the best (original) movies this year that sets this menu apart from the English and Italian and Jewish feasts of before...

SEAFOOD, BABY!

Finding Nemo, Pirates of the Caribbean, Master & Commander, Seabiscuit -- for those not wanting to confuse their snack table (and hit only one drive-thru), it's seafood to the rescue!

You can go to the Far Side of the World -- to Nemo's Australia and back (ooo -- Outback surf and turf!), or, in the fine words of the finer Captain Jack Sparrow, "Welcome to the Caribbean!" So if drive-thru isn't your thing, and you've got the time and bit o' shine to buy (or pillage) it, why not a captain's feast! Well more than just a bottle of rum -- all sorts of fresh seafood and wine, braised pig, and cake (mind the weevils, Captain Aubrey would advise). For Captain Barbossa, a whole bushel of applesssss. And, for Jack, REALLY BAD EGGS!

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!

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