drones

March '93

The Unbelievably Short Version of Ed Mark and Marilyn Doing the Drones Room

   Ed came over for preliminary Drones Room fix-up, to help me decide which green the walls should be painted, which molding to buy, and how to wood grain the white trim. The sample of green I had just about decided on was laying on the floor, and Ed immediately saw it and said "EGH!" I said, "Oh?" He said it would jump off the walls, apparently something wall paint ought never to do. He leaned toward the yellow mossy greens and away from the brighter kelly/hunter greens I liked, stating his were warmer, which was the look I was trying to achieve. I agreed, but let him know that I didn't want the room to feel humid with a green that was too mossy. This entire conversation took place with straight faces. Finally, we decided on Cryolin Green and two shades of brown for the trim and faux wood grain doors.
   We then travelled to Home Depot to look at the crown molding. I had picked out the crown molding a few weeks before and discussed it with Ed over the phone. It was straight wood with free-standing dentil underneath, sort of like teeth. I thought it might be part of a combination of molding rather than self-standing, so I told Ed I wasn't sure it would work. Ed said, "Hey, it's your house, this is America, you can do anything you want." So when I led him to the molding I had chosen, he said "No." We finally decided on a molding with dentil properly in it.
   Weeks later, Ed, Mark and I returned to Home Depot on a gloriously sunny and warm day to buy up every supply I couldn't talk Ed out of. We bought tons o' stuff including tediously long boards of molding. Maneuvering the molding to the cash register on the cart was scary enough. Watching Ed and Mark carry it to the back of Ed's small truck in the wind was terrifying. After several failed attempts to attach the red flag to the 16 foot long board to safely prevent any accidents on the road, Ed threw the flag in the back of the cab and said come on. I said what are you doing? What about the red flag? Ed said don't worry about it. I said don't worry about it? He said Marilyn it will be fine. I said I don't know. He said Marilyn it will be fine. Believe me. Mark fueled my anxiety by mimicking my words and nervous ticks, although at the time I didn't realize he was only mimicking me, thus fueling his success in fueling my anxiety. Mark was having a wonderful time.
   We slid the longest board through the window of the cab, resting one end on the dashboard and the other end six feet out the bed. When Ed began setting additional long boards on the resting board, Mark kept saying nervously, Ed....uh, Ed....I don't think....uh..... Ed ignored Mark because he knew he was supposed to. I was in knots. Ed sped along, and I refused to look back in the bed no matter how many Uh!..Eh!..Oh! sounds Mark continued to make. Finally, a respectful wait after one particularly urgent Ow!, I turned to see the wood hadn't slipped a millimeter and Mark burst out laughing. Ed said Marilyn! It's alright! And I said I know I know.
   Then the light at Cobb Parkway turned red and Ed slid through the right turn lane despite the "No Turn On Red" signs. Mark and I casually looked left to see what was going to crash into us, noticed a pick up truck that hit the brakes, and turned our attention back to the road. Ed was oblivious. Mark finally made a mention of it, Ed said no one was coming, Mark suggested the look on the driver's face was one of amusing panic horror, and that was all we said of it, except on later occasions when Mark brought it up.
   Back at Ravenwood, once the painting commenced, we noticed that the first strokes were particularly green. Kelly green, Ed remarked, which was what he said I should stay away from. I said boy it sure is dark, isn't it. Mark said oh don't worry Marilyn, it'll dry lighter. Ed looked up and said oh, no, it'll dry darker. I looked at Ed. Mark laughed and laughed.
   Later that evening, Ed can't stand it--he MUST paint part of the trim the dark brown to see how the colors will go together. "Yep, Andes mint wrapper," he replied, remarking on the chocolate brown and dark green combination. 30 minutes later, Ed can't stand it again--he MUST put the coat of polyeurothane on the trim to see what it looks like. He SWEARS it's dry. I finally acquiesce, and, yep, DEFINITELY Andes mint wrapper. They pack up, agreeing to return Wednesday at 10 am, except Mark, who, if he works until 6 PM on Tuesday should be in early, but if he works until 2 PM, he'll go home and sleep all day and stay awake all night and not be able to get to sleep until very late and will likewise sleep until late in the day.
   Wednesday, Mark calls around 2 PM and says he'll get up and shower and be over--after he's had a little more sleep. Ed's been over since 11 am, and painting away. We decided to paint all the trim with the light base coat and rub the dark brown to try to match the faux woodgrain on the doors after much masking taping around all windows, frames, and base-molding. Eventually Mark arrives. More fun banter and painting, Ed begins wood-graining the door, and Mark is entertained and entertaining (my favorite moment when Ed tells us about the difficulty a group in Japan had casting Hoke for their production of "Driving Miss Daisy" with the limited number of black actors there and how they had to consider using black-face -- Mark agrees that that could be a problem there, accentuating the point by announcing in harsh Japanese accent, "I try to takah you to STORE!"). The next date is Saturday.
   Saturday I awoke to Ed calling me, at 8:30 AM, while the Storm of the Century was dumping 2-3 feet of snow outside, to tell me he didn't think he could drive up in this weather. I laughed and said of course he couldn't! I spent the next three days watching British comedy (especially Jeeves and Wooster) and old movies and painting painting painting. The molding took a number of coats: base brown, watered dark brown I brushed into the crevices, a rubbing of dark brown over the base, and finally the varnish, which I didn't get to until the next Friday when Ed was over.
   That Friday, Ed came over--at 8:30 AM!--to finish doing the doors so he and Mark could hang the molding. I worked in the bathroom, still trying get the 30 years of paint build-up off the door hinges, while Ed and Mark struggled with the molding. I could only hear their conversations, which Mark punctuated with his teasing horror: "Gee, Ed [uncontrollable laughing] Do you think you can fix this?" Pause so Ed is truly concentrating. They were having problems making the last two pieces of the last corner fit--the ultimate problem in molding apparently. In the course of the wood circling the room, the last piece is lower or higher than the starting point. I heard Ed and Mark's debate go on in pieces of "Well, Ed, maybe we could push the two pieces together and fill in the gap with putty." "Mark, they're not even in the same zip code!" I would call out innocently, "Do I need to go in there?" "NO!" they would scream.
   But eventually they did shove the pieces together, putty in the gaps, hang the doors back on their hinges a few times, and the room looks great!

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